I'm home after saw concert at 10 p.m. I feel different situation. Four hours ago I felt excited, noisy, uproar, dance unstoppable, emotional, screaming everywhere.
When I get home, I find mom, dad, two little sister watching TV warmly. They smile simply happiness because of comedy in TV.
My mom realized I came, then welcomed me with her beautiful smile. She asked me how I feel after watching concert that I want since in high school. I just say "I'm happy"
But in other side. I feel so sad. I don't know. I feel like I did wrong. I want to blame myself for leaving them, my family. How heartless am I.
"You don't need to find happiness out there, Don't you think, you can find your happiness inside your home?"
Maybe this is last time. But, I still happy too, after saw oppars :')
It is like give up from fangirling world, isn't it? I want to stop, but sometimes my mom just let me do everything that I want, especially when spazzing about SJ. It makes me more uncontrollable loving them.
Examples :
Mom : Are you truly SJ fans?
Me : Hmm, why?
Mom : Why don't you buy original album?
Or....
Mom : Your stick is played by Tiara. (She means my lightstick)
Me : No problem..
Mom : It would be broken, Dont you want to watch concert again?
Me : I don't know..
She support everything I do. She support me to be ELF. But, I must be know the boundaries, my financial capability, and my own time for learn.
Support SJ totally, without forget my future. I have right for that. And always pray.
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